hungry, Hungry, HUNGRY

Like everyone else on planet fat, I have resolved that this is the year I will finally lose the weight. Why will this be the year? Why, when every other attempt has failed, will this finally work? What motivation do I have that I didn't have before? BACK FAT. Yes, the last 20 lbs or so, that I've steadily put on over the past couple of years, has begun to emerge as fat rolls on my back. I had been pretty lucky up to this point, at least in this category. I've always gained my weight in my boobs, ass, and gut (which is the worst place, I know). But I guess those areas have finally reached maximum capacity, and now it's time to move to the back.

I say I've been lucky, because my sister, who has been a little on the chunky side most of her life as well, has almost always had back fat. I envied her for having a "flat" pot belly. Meaning that even though she gained weight in the middle, it was still kinda flat, like the plus sized underwear models. But I've always had the two belly system. The smaller on bottom, and the top one growing more and more massive as the years have passed, until it has finally come to rest over the waistband of my pants.

Since I have started to develop these love handle type of protrusions from my backside, they've become increasingly uncomfortable. When I am standing up straight (something I seldom do, but have been trying to do more), or sitting down, they fold over to the point that I can feel the skin touching itself. It's freakin me out a little. And what's worse, when I get hot, they sweat! Eeewww! I hate to sweat, and I already hate that I do so under my arms and boobs, but now I have another "pit" in which sweat can build up and get that gross, slimy feeling!

So, that's the extra motivation that I needed. The swift kick in the pants. The reality check. Screw that I'm already medically obese, at risk for a whole host of medical problems. Or that I've been sluggish and lazy for years because of the weight. Who cares that I haven't liked what I look like naked since, well, ever? Doesn't matter that I can't get to our seats at the football stadium without almost having a heart attack. The thing that I needed to finally get my ass on a real diet and exercise regimen was as simple as the placement of fat in one specific location. But I digress.

Whatever the reason, it's time. I will be *gasp* and *gulp* 30 this year (29 again, actually). And I've been trying to get pregnant for over a year (which I've been told may be easier done if I lost a few), and I'm just sick of being a fatty. I know it won't be easy. I'll have to muster will power from the depths of my soul (it's gonna take a lot for me to "just say no" to the FREE food that is brought into my office on almost a daily basis), and it's gonna take energy that I haven't had since I was 5. But I'm determined, this has got to work!

Check back in a week or so, and see if I'm still going, or if the pressure was just too much. I may decided that it would be easier to design a back fat "bra" instead. (ooh, that could work!)